Two friends were walking throught the
desert. During some point they had an argument, resulting in one
friend slapping the other in the face. The one who was slapped was
hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand “today my best
friend slapped me in the face.” They kept walking until they found
an oasis where they decide to go bathing. The one who had been
slapped got stuck in the mine and started drowning, but the friend
saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a
stone “today my best friend saved my life.” The friend who
slapped and saved his best friend, asked him “after I hurt you, you
wrote in the sand and now you write on a stone—why?” The other
friend replied, “when someone hurts us we should write it down in
the sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away, but when
someone does sonething good for us, we must engrave it in stone where
no wind can ever erase it.”
The moral of the story is not to value
the things you have in life, but value who you have in life!
This leads me to talking about two
special friends here in Mmathethe, and what they demonstrate about
friendship on a daily basis. These two gals found each other early
in primary school and have had a growing friendship since. In many
ways they are complete opposites, but as they say---opposites
attract, right. One is vulnerable, the other strong, one is shy, the
other shyer, one lives without electricity or water, the other has
both, one has an intact family, the other doesn't, both are highly
intelligent, but one has to work harder in school. When one looks in
the mirror and thinks she's ugly, the other tells her she's
beautiful. When one got in trouble for not doing well in school, the
other told her to try harder and see the good in everything. They
both tell each other to respect life, not to fall into the traps of
peer pressure, and both want to help find a cure for HIV. I've grown
to love these two beautiful teens who fit together like a glove, and
have shared their friendship with a stranger.
I know these two not by coincidence,
one is my direct neighbor who came knocking on my door my first night
in Mmathethe, scaring the heebeejeebees out of me, but in the softest
of voices told me not to be frightened. The other came knocking at
my door with her older sister after seeing me at our first assembly
in school, thinking I could help her sister who works diligently with
AIDS victims. I had not known then that these two kids were
connected to each other until they both came over together a few
weeks later to talk. They asked many questions about the States and
about life. Instead of the typical “can you take me there,”
they humbly took information in, and with wonder, just asked for more
details. Through the coming weeks, I taught them how to play UNO,
backgammon, other card games, and they have been here on Saturday
nights glued to movies on my computer. When there was a fierce
African thunderstorm, it was my porch they took refuge in. I've
trusted these kids to take care of Keoki when I go to trainings or
overnight to Kanye. When Kesego visits me, they tenderly teach her
the games I have taught them. Innately, knowing that my birthday was
spent so far away from home, these kids, who barely have anything,
thought enough of our friendship to present me with a beautiful
African basket---you bet the tears starting rolling down my cheeks.
There are many stories of friendship with more depth and dimension,
but these two understand the art of giving and receiving in a place
where that is not always the case---and it is that which makes these
two kids and their friendship special.
I've not always been a good
friend....I've not always known the art of sharing....I've not always
valued what was most important....but now, at the age of 55, being in
the Peace Corps, and seeing these two kids together with their
outlook on life and friendship, can show anyone that with a friend in
hand you can see the light---with a friend in hand, everything will
be alright!
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