No one likes to be rejected, but it is
an inevitable life experience we all have to face at one point or
another. From our career to our relationships, whether we are the
most popular or a nerd, it happens! Of course it hurts, and any
grieving is natural, but those with character take a deep breath.
Recently, I learned that there is this
African concept called UBUNTU, which is a concept that has come to
signify unity---the interrelationship between all beings---that
humanity is understood in relation with that of others. The word is
from the Bantu language group, derivatives of which are commonly
spoken in communities throughout Sub-Sahara Africa. A person with
Ubuntu cares for others in a profound way, and deeply senses his/her
interdependence with them. It is the recognition that one's well
being is connected to that of others, 2 legged, 4 legged, and leafy!
This past week, two kids in the
neighborhood took a deep breath in the face of rejection. My two
neighbor boys were supposed to be picked up by their dad for the 2
week break to spend it with him at the cattle post. To Stame and
Lefika, going to the cattle post with dad was like an American kid
going to Disneyland for spring break. It's all they talked about for
weeks. Well, dad never showed to pick them up. On the 2nd
day of the break, just when I thought all was quiet, and was free of
kid play for 2 weeks, my two friends sauntered over, one with tears
welted in his eyes, the other with his head leaning against my
shoulder, telling me that dad never showed. The lack of
understanding and sense of rejection in their faces was all I needed
for the Psychologist in me to come out and do whatever I could to
help the situation out. And so it was........
 |
| Lefika, Stame, and friend |
We live in a world that can make our
hearts ache, especially in Africa. So many kids here live without
one parent or the other---it's almost natural, but I wonder how it
really affects them. It has to be confusing! With HIV raging out of
control, tsunami's devasting places, and children being left behind,
the ramifications of these tragedies are felt in all directions.
This week Stame and Lefika were two boys who needed to feel wanted,
accepted, and pumped up. Usually, I put a limit to how many times a
week the kids can come over to play, but this week, it was my
pleasure to provide them with talk, play, and a lot of laughter.
Every act of generosity, kindness, or compassion can heal our
wounds---I just wish that everyone, especially Stame and Lefika's dad
right now, can develop a world view of Ubuntu----centered rather than
self-centered!
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