The meaning of Bliss

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Time, with all it's exact measures, just keeps marching on.  In Africa, time is an amorphous and unstructured entity, but still the clocks and dates keep on going. This week marks six months of being in Botswana. There have been good times and times of struggles, but no bad times. The times of struggles haven't even been that bad, in fact, I call those moments my times of bliss because they are character building. The word bliss can mean so many things to different people. I have asked myself many times if I've found my bliss, and the initial response 6 months ago was no way. The craziness that takes over our lives, the business that caused me to say I can't handle this, the amount of media around---it all takes away from finding that bliss. But now, my bliss is when I look outside my window every night to watch the sunsets, or see a three quarter moon that looks orange hanging low in the sky with bright stars surrounding it. Bliss is being able to laugh when sitting in a Kombie with people hanging on top of you, dripping wet from the heat, and laughing at the thought of killing them. Bliss is when my 6 year old friend, Lefika, walks into my house at 7:30am to hand me a pomegranate off his tree, and telling me that he doesn't know what he's gonna do when I leave in 2 years. Bliss is walking around this beautiful village in the early evening and watching life happen. Bliss is having the time to meditate, reflect, do my tai chi and yoga without all the American distractions. Bliss is teaching a class about life, and seeing the trust because they know that I won't beat them with a stick. Bliss is feeling the love of my host family. Bliss is fighting off the bugs in the house and cows in the yard, and not having a second thought about it. Bliss is the comraderie of my fellow PCV's. Bliss is receiving packages from home. Bliss is finally having internet in my house!

All of these things, and many more, are making me even more real, honest, and genuine. I cry, I laugh, I question! I want those who are struggling to see that if they just find that glimmer of hope, that life can go on.

I look at people here in Mmathethe and wonder about their own bliss. Somehow, with all the hardships, and the daily struggles, they have a resilience in them, and I'm gonna call that resilience Bliss for right now. The may lack in some passion, but they also may never know another life, so let them find that bliss in the simplicity that is all around.

Six months passes, and I remind myself though, to never stop looking because bliss can disappear at a moments notice. Every new trial, new struggle, or new mountain, brings me back to where my bliss had disappeared to when at home. I will never have all the answers, and I don't want really want them. I just want to live, learn, and grow. I want my bliss to change and not be stagnent. And most of all, I want the kids of Mmathethe to find their own bliss in the midst of the daily struggles they endure.

P.S. Happy 13^th Birthday to my beautiful niece Sofie! I love you sweetie!