Urinary Freedom

Way back, when I was in training in Kanye, I was walking to a kids party that a friend was having at her host home. On the way, I met three nicely dressed women who happened to be going my way to the same party. Walking and talking was pleasant enough until one woman just stopped in the middle of the path, paused our conversation, spread the legs, wizzed, and then just moved on like it was the most natural thing in the world. Well, in her world it is the most natural thing, but in my world it's a different story---I thought about the little spray that got on my leg for weeks on end!

Not that this is all bad or anything, but come on lady, there's a technique to peeing outside, you activate the glutes and quads, bend the knees, drop your ass like your name is Viola, get as low as you can so it doesn't spray, and above all, aim away from your feet, and please, not on my feet! I felt like I had just witnessed the human version of my cat peeing all over the place---a primal way of communicating. The lady even perked her face like my cat Alex does when he's peeing in front of someone. “Hey lady, would you do that in your mother's kitchen too?”

It's funny that first world countries like the USA tend to believe that third world countries have it bad when it comes to personal freedom, when they actually have far more freedom and liberty than we ever do. I mean, imagine the sense of independence that comes with just spreading the legs and letting things fly whenever and wherever you want. We, in the US, however, live in a policed society that enforces the belief that peeing in public is shameful, dirty, obscene, and disgusting, and that's really a shame because more often than not, peeing in public is out of necessity, not pleasure. You don't have to be a Law Grad to know that it's a bad thing when your government makes a human necessity punishable. If you think about it, it's really not a nuisance if nobody sees it---maybe we should be practicing pee respect, or start a pee anarchy.

Growing up, as most of us have, in a city, or those suburbs in Jersey, we just didn't learn about being in the wild, and consequently, we're not usually comfortable out in nature in the true sense of the word. But here in Africa, or at least Botswana, people just don't even care, they pee everywhere and anywhere, in the villages and in the city, and they don't necessarily turn away from you. It used to bother me a bit, but the other day walking home after our school function with my favorite police man, and he just stopped, unzipped his fly, and cooly took a pee---I just thought to myself how normal this has become since my days in Kanye. I've learned to act like I presume men do in a public bathroom---it's the no look policy.

 I can't tell you how many times I've peed in my pants here for one stupid reason or another, and I've also peed in the bush in times of necessity, but still, as used to things as I am, I have not mastered the urinary freedom that most Africans seem to possess.  Though my own personal philosophy on pee and liberty is that urinating is a biological necessity, as long as one behaves reasonably, no measly gender wall should stop someone from getting to where they need to pee so they can get on with their lives.

 I guess I have 6 more months to see how well I can drop my pants!